


Not Broken

by CartoonLover



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: ADHD, Gen, Internalized Arophobia, aro!dewey, it all works out in the end dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonLover/pseuds/CartoonLover
Summary: Dewey’s experiences with being Aromantic.
Relationships: Daisy Duck/Donald Duck (mentioned), Dewey Duck & Donald Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Dewey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Lena (Disney: DuckTales)/Webby Vanderquack (mentioned)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 90





	Not Broken

Dewey is five when he first suspects he isn't like other kids. Other kids can sit still for more than five minutes, other kids don't get overly excited about one specific thing and latch on to it, other kids like-liked people. All around him were people holding hands and talking weird and smooshing their faces together for some reason, he didn't get it. His brothers didn't either so he guesses that it's something that came with age, whatever that means. But still, looking at all those people makes him feel weird. He doesn't like it so he tries not to look. Kind of hard when they're _everywhere_. 

It gets exhausting, quick, and he needs some time away from it all. Lucky for him the houseboat is the one place where it isn't. Nobody there ever seems too interested it, other than the occasional movie. And he can deal with those if he really has to, any excuse to be near his family. But his point is that the houseboat is his place of solace and he never wants that to change. 

And that especially reigns true after a day like today. All-day people were talking about romance, even his brothers! It had started with their teacher explaining the concept since some holiday was coming up and it ended with the whole school going on about it and him feeling like he was going to explode. He still feels that way so when they get home he makes a beeline for his room. He doesn't know why the whole thing bugs him so much, he's five- all he knows is that he doesn't like it. Any of it. 

"Dewey?" A voice asks from outside the door, Huey, he thinks. "Can we come in?" 

"It's your room too." The door opens and he hears two sets of footsteps enter. They must've told Uncle Donald they could handle it. He doesn't know if there's something to handle. 

He then feels two figures make their way to his bed and plop next to him. "What's going on, Dew?" 

"I dunno. I feel weird." 

"Weird, like sick? Did you catch something at school? Unca Donald said that might happen before we started going. Should we get him?"

Dewey quickly shakes his head, "No, don't Dewey that, itsa different kind of weird. I dunno how to explain it." He feels their eyes on the back of his head and sighs, they didn't get it. But he isn't sure he gets it either. "All that talk 'bout romace bothered me, I dunno why, all I know is that I don't like it." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"We'll stop talking about it if you want." Louie offers and wrinkles his beak. "I think it's kinda gross, why we gotta have a whole holiday for it?" And with that Huey launches into what he learned about the holiday, excluding the romance part as much as he can. That's the thing with the three of them, they don't always understand their problems but they understand each other. Dewey thinks that as long as he has that he'll be okay. 

He can worry about that other stuff some other time. 

* * *

Dewey is eight when he has to deal with romance explicitly. Someone has a crush on him and it makes him shudder every time he thinks about it. Uncle Donald says that it's something everyone has to deal with but he really doesn't want to. In the past three years his weirdness in it all has only grown, and he's only gotten more confused. But he has to be honest with Carla, the girl who has a crush on him, his Uncle said so and he's usually right. 

Still, this isn't gonna be fun...

He hates when things aren't fun. 

He figures the best way to do it is to rip the band-aid off so when he sees Carla he goes to do just that. It's awkward, really awkward, he has no idea what to say and people are already confusing enough for him without all the romance stuff but eventually he gets it out. She doesn't take it well. He feels bad but isn't sure what he can do, he can't _fake_ it- he could fake a lot but not feelings, so he resigns himself to being the school's jerk for a while. Until something else happens that gets everyone's attention off of it a few seconds later, which turns out to be Louie. He loves his brothers. 

Carla is still mad at him, and he figures she will be for a while. There's nothing he can do about it, except feel bad and that's what he does. For the rest of the day actually, he feels so bad that he doesn't even try to hide it from his family. Which is probably why as soon as they get home his Uncle pulls him aside.

"I talked to Carla." He tells him before he can ask. "It didn't go well. She's mad, really mad, and I feel awful. Why don't I like her, Uncle Donald?" 

His Uncle gestures for him to sit on the deck chair and joins him. "Because you don't. There's nothing wrong with it, some people just don't, click. And that's okay, the only thing that's not okay is leading them on. You did the right thing, Dew." 

Dewey looks at him, "Then why does it feel so bad?" 

He gives him a wry smile, "It usually does. But it won't forever. You're not a bad person for being honest and you're not one for not liking someone. It may happen eventually or it may not, only time'll tell. But I think you'll be okay no matter what." He winks at him and Dewey smiles. He'll be okay no matter what. But then, why does something feel, wrong? Like something, isn't there? Something that should be. Something... 

Something's missing. 

* * *

Dewey is ten when he has a word for it. Moving into the mansion brings a lot of new adventures, both good and bad, and a lot more knowledge. Or specifically, more access to knowledge. And it's because of that that he finds out there's something to describe his feelings toward romance. Repulsed. He wants nothing to do with the stuff. Which is a real problem cause it seems the older he's gotten the more surrounded by it he is. His over-100-years-old Uncle is even involved in it! It's something he can't escape. 

Maybe that's why he throws him in adventuring so much. He's never had a distraction like that before, and the more it distracts him the better. The only real problem with that is that it causes a shift in his and his brothers' dynamic. Huey's the most comfortable with the triplet dynamic and Louie just goes with whatever but Dewey, he's always wanted more for himself and that almost costs him everything that's important to him. All because he wanted a distraction.

Nevertheless, after that he decides to find a new way to distract himself. It only works for so long.

There's something wrong with him, that much he knows. Most people aren't repulsed by the thought of romance, or being romantic with someone but he is. He is very _very_ repulsed by it. And not only is it wrong, it's causing something to be missing. He doesn't know how he feels about that, or about how five years later he's still just as confused by the whole thing. But, he's confused about a lot so by now he's learned to just roll with it. Except this, isn't something he's sure he can roll with, he needs an answer for this one. 

Which is how he ends up in the mansion's library. It's so huge, if anywhere has an answer it's there. He almost expects to be there alone except, _library_ , his older brother is definitely there. Something he doesn't mind if he's totally honest. At least until he starts asking questions. 

"I need answers, dude. I need to know why I'm so weird about anything to do with romance." He tells him in response to said questions, knowing he won't leave him alone until he says something. 

Huey studies him for a moment, "You have a lot of time to figure this stuff out, try not to worry about it too much." That's easier said than done. But Huey is like, the king of worrying about things so maybe he knows what he's talking about. And he knows his brother, knows that over the years he has become a very strong romantic, just another way the three of them were completely different. That worries him, a lot more than the whole romance thing. 

"What if I'm always like this? What if you guys go off and get married one day and I don't, where does that leave us?" He quietly asks. 

"We're not gonna leave you, it's the three of us forever no matter what happens. You matter to us much more than any future potential partner." Dewey smiles at his brother and looks back at the book he's currently combing through. He doesn't need the answer right now, he just got the one that really matters. 

* * *

Dewey is eleven when he has the official word for it. Aromantic; someone who is not romantically attracted to anyone. It fits him, it fits him so well that he finally feels like himself after all these years. Until he really starts to think about it, how can someone not be attracted to anyone? It doesn't make any sense to him even if it is him. Sure, he's repulsed by romance and probably always would be, but does that mean he'll never like someone? 

He thinks back to when he was five and how he thought it was weird to like-like someone, has that changed? No, not really. But it should've, it was understandable when he was five but now he's eleven, he's not a little kid who didn't know anything anymore. So he should like someone but the thought of it... 

It makes him sick to his stomach. He _doesn't_ want to like anyone. He never has and he was okay with it, why is he not now? What changed? He got older for one, sometimes he misses when he was littler; this is one of those times. Being eleven is stupid, he doesn't like it. Everything is too complicated and he can't wrap his head around any of it. Romance most of all. 

Being aromantic must mean you don't get it, that it's something that's always going to be out of your reach. Suddenly he doesn't like it as much. He wants to understand it, what exactly about it makes him so uncomfortable but he just- doesn't. No matter how hard he tries. He probably never will, never will understand why it makes him feel like something is missing, never will understand why he dislikes seeing any form of it. Never will understand why he has to be so different.

This is one way, the only way, he doesn't want to be different.

But he doesn't want to like someone. So, complicated. He just has to assume that eventually it will work itself out, that if he doesn't ever understand romance or anything to do with it that would be okay. His Uncle said he would be okay, and he doesn't blindly believe everything he says as fact anymore but he wants to believe that. He's right when it really counts, and this really counts. And no one knows him better, except his brothers and they're always the first to tell him he'll be okay when something's wrong. Even if it takes a while. 

So this will work itself out and he just has to be patient until then. Patience never really was one of his strong suits but he's made exceptions before and he'll make them again. He wants to be okay, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to feel that way again. He doesn't know when he really stopped but he knows his evolving thoughts about romance didn't help. They really _really_ didn't help. 

But something else he knows is that he honestly wouldn't change them, he wouldn't be him if he liked romance stuff. And he likes who he is, he's not perfect but who is? The point is he likes himself, flaws and all, but he doesn't know if he counts this as a flaw. Should he? Is it a bad thing to not like that stuff? Well, he guesses only he can figure that out for himself. That requires thinking, and a lot of it, and he doesn't like doing that. But he would, he has to. This is something he _needs_ to know. 

He doesn't think that not liking that stuff is a bad thing, and maybe that's all that matters. That's what Huey would tell him anyways. His brother knows more about things like that than he does and he trusts his brothers more than anyone. 

With that thought in mind he thinks that he can apply that to all aspects of this whole thing. What would his brothers say if he told them all about his thoughts? Probably something like, 'That there's nothing wrong with him and he's perfectly fine just the way he is' and if they said then maybe he could actually believe it. 

He has his brothers, and as long as he has them nothing is ever really missing. 

* * *

Dewey is twelve when he has to deal with dating. It's not him, thankfully, but it is someone very close to him. His Uncle Donald. Only he doesn't know that that's what it is at first. He thinks it's just friendship, his brothers have to point out what it actually is. 

"Uncle Donald has a friend!" He excitedly shouts as he runs into their room. They look at him from their respective spots, not at all surprised by his outburst. 

Huey hums, "That's good, he needs to be around people his own age." Dewey nods in agreement and starts telling them about what he saw but as he does that they shared a look. 

"Umm, Dewey," Louie says when he's done. "I don't think they're 'just friends' if you know what I mean." 

"No." 

"Right okay, see sometimes people like each other more than friends. Like they want to date and stuff." Oh. _Oh._ "Do you get it now?" 

He bit back a gulp, "Yerp, I get it." 

Truthfully he never thought he would have to deal with that part of romance. He guesses he figured no one in his family would ever date, silly as that thought is. Ugh, he really _can't_ escape the stuff. How long before his brothers started dating?! Whoa, let's not go down that road right now. He's happy for his Uncle, he really is, and if he wants to start having other priorities in his life that's fine. They're twelve and have tons of other people in their lives that can look after them. He doesn't feel like they'll suddenly lose him or anything, he knows better than that, but he is still bothered by the fact. But he doesn't want to get in the way of his Uncle's happiness or tell him what he can and can't do so he'll keep his mouth shut for as long as he can. Which for him isn't very long. 

"Are you and Daisy dating now?" He blurts out a few hours later after dinner. His Uncle looks at him and nods to himself before bending down to his level. 

"We're talking about it." He says honestly. "Is that okay with you? Does it weird you out too much? It's okay if it does, but you need to tell me." 

Dewey gets conflicted. He wants to tell him the truth but he knows if he does he won't go out with her, and that he'd be upset by that. But the way his Uncle is looking at him lets him know he doesn't have a choice. "It is weird, but it's okay. I want you to be happy, Uncle Donald, I'll get past it, really. Besides, Daisy seems cool." His Uncle beams and hugs him. Yerp, the truth was the right choice, who knew? 

And maybe if he saw them doing dating stuff he would get used to it and wouldn't be so weirded out anymore. Even if it isn't for him that doesn't mean everyone around him shouldn't get to enjoy it. Especially the people he cares about. 

* * *

Dewey is thirteen when he has to deal with dating again, only it's somehow weirder. It's his sister this time. She and Lena have finally gotten their acts together and Dewey can't be happier for them. Really he's gotten better with it over the past year, the only reason it's so weird for him is cause it's his sister and he knows his brothers agree. Nonetheless they're happy for her and are happy helping her prepare for it. 

Even if it's not his area of expertise he's determined to give the best advice he can. "You should just be yourself, she already likes you!" He says from his spot on Webby's bed, next to his brothers. 

"I'm pretty certain you could kill someone and she'd still like you." Louie adds on and he nods in agreement. 

"But don't actually do that, it's illegal." He and Louie boo at their brother and he rolls his eyes. Dewey turns his attention back to Webby and notices how nervous she still looks. It's not a good look on her. 

"Seriously, Web, it'll be great! I don't actually know how romance works but I know you guys are meant for each other! Like Louie and money or me and adventuring! It'll turn out fine and one day I'll be telling this story and your wedding where I'm definitely the best man." He doesn't have to look at his brothers to know they're scoffing at that but he doesn't care. He was gonna be the best man at one of their weddings, if nothing more than to support them. Cause weddings... really weren't his thing. A whole ceremony for romance? No thanks, that was like Valentine's day on steroids. 

And he really hates Valentine's Day. 

"I know you guys are right, but it's _Lena_ , I can't do something to mess this up." She plops down on her bed next to them and they share a look. They try to figure out what to say to that until Dewey thinks of something. 

He places a hand on her, "It's _Lena_ , no one understands you better than her, except us and Mrs. B. There's no way you _can_ mess it up with her. But, if _somehow_ you do, you still have us." He grins at her and she tackles the three of them in a hug. That was better. And if he has to deal with romance every now and then to make his siblings happy then that's what he has to do. He finds he doesn't mind it too much when it's them. 

* * *

Dewey is fourteen when he feels surrounded by romance. His Uncle and Daisy, Webby and Lena, even his Mom had gotten with someone! It can get exhausting to be around even if he is really happy for all of them. Sometimes it feels like it's all they talk about and it's all he can do not to scream in frustration. He doesn't want them to stop talking about that stuff in front of him, he just wishes they didn't do it so often. 

It gets even worse when Huey starts doing it. 

He figured his brothers would start doing it eventually but that doesn't mean he has to like it. It's the protective streak in him more than anything, the thought of someone hurting them always made him furious, but his aversion to romance does have something to do with it. It sucks, he wishes he could just hear all about his brother's romantic escapades without any problems, fortunately for him his brother notices and tones it down. He wishes he can say the same for the rest of his family. 

It's nothing against them, they just don't get it and it's something that's hard for him to explain so he just, doesn't. That's why he's so surprised when they suddenly stop, like they flipped a switch or something. It makes him think something's going on, something that he wants to get to the bottom of. 

His first thought is that one, or both, of his brothers said something. When he goes to Huey though he says he hasn't. Which means there's only one suspect left, Louie. It wouldn't surprise him if he had, he knows how he works. But he needs to know for sure. 

"Louie," He says as soon as he finds him. "Did you say something to the others to make them stop talking about romance in front of me?"

"Yeah, I saw how upset you were getting by it and knew you wouldn't say anything. They aren't like me and Huey, they weren't gonna notice it unless someone said something." His brother replies without looking up from his phone. 

Dewey looks at him touched, "Thanks." 

Louie smiles at him. "Anytime." A beat goes by then, "You're gonna tell them they can still do it sometimes, aren't you?" 

"Yeah I mean, I do wanna hear about it, just not as much as they were doing it. I just want them to dial it back, like Huey is." 

"Fair enough. I shoulda came to you first." Dewey notices how guilty he looks and is quick to curb it, he has no reason to be. He really appreciates what he did and it isn't like that was the first time he's done anything like that. 

"You're fine. No, really." He insists at his brother's doubtful look. "I really am glad you did that for me. You're a great brother, Louie." Louie grins at him and he can't help but to think how lucky he is to have him, to have both of them. Maybe that's why he doesn't want anything to do with romance- he already knows he won't have what he has with them with anyone else, why bother looking? 

* * *

Dewey is fifteen when he figures things out. It's okay if he doesn't want anything to do with romance. It's okay if it makes him uncomfortable or weirded out. And it's because he's aromantic and romance repulsed that he feels these things. And that's okay too. His Uncle was right, he is gonna be okay. Who he is is good enough- for his family, for his brothers, but most importantly for himself. 

He'll probably always be confused about the aspects of romance, never see the appeal in it, but being around it isn't as bad as he used to think. It's not the best, and there'll probably be times when he gets overwhelmed by it, but that is just part of who he is. 

And he's not blind, he knows he still has a long way to go with this stuff, still has some things he needs to work on regarding it but now he knows that that's okay. He'll never get all the answers he's been looking for, it just isn't possible and one day he'll be okay with that too. In the meantime he can just focus on the answers he does have. It's certainly more than he had when he was five. 

* * *

Dewey is sixteen when he realizes nothing is wrong with him. And it's a great feeling. 


End file.
